Stuff in the Shower

He Said - by Blaine Staat

Marriage teaches you many things. For instance, when I was single, I was under the mistaken impression that towels could be used more than once. I only owned 3 towels myself, and one of them remained perpetually folded in the closet. I could get 3, maybe 4 weeks out of a towel before the thought even occurred to me that I should wash it. To think I was so woefully misguided the whole time . . .

Another thing I learned about was what I refer to now as “shower inventory”. Again, in my ignorance, I had made it deep into my 20’s thinking that only 3 things had any business being in the shower: soap, shampoo, and me. Looking back, it’s amazing I made it as far as I did, considering the sheer frugality of that type of shower inventory. I shudder at the memory.
What’s in my shower today? Well, I’ll tell you:

1 bar of soap (pink)
2 bottles of shampoo (different kinds, of course)
2 bottles of conditioner (ditto)
1 bottle of shaving gel (not mine)
1 jar of something called “apricot scrub”
2 razors (neither is mine)
1 fingernail brush (okay, I admit; it’s useful)
1 big poofy scrubby thing
1 washcloth (they still make these? Why?)
1 large plastic cup (for the kids maybe . . . ?)
1 bottle olive oil (in case I decide to stop bathing and have a salad, I guess)
1 big (but not big enough) shower caddy

This inventory may vary a little (usually with a surplus of something) but overall it’s pretty indicative of what you’ll find in my shower on any given day.

The odd thing is, even though I now know that all of these things are absolutely vital to the health, happiness, and prosperity of my shower, I find that I still have not assimilated myself to the proper uses of them. Color me ignorant, but even after all these years, the only things I seem to have a use for are the soap and shampoo.

And occasionally the fingernail brush.


She Said - by Catherine Staat

How can a lady remain a “Lady of Mystery?” Well, it’s hard to do when your husband invites everyone into the bathroom and throws open the shower for all to see (thank goodness it’s clean in there)! Part of being that mysterious lady is not only looking clean and pressed but smelling good too, and you can’t do that with towels if they have that “musty” odor.

Blaine does not seem to notice this odor (must be a guy thing), and feels that if you are clean when you use the towel to dry off with, it’s still clean, and can be used over and over for weeks on end. Towels have their statute of limitations, and when they have reached that point of no return, they are promptly removed and replaced with new ones that do smell clean and fresh.

And now that my husband has so kindly shared some of my beauty secrets with you, I feel I must explain that what might look rather bizarre to the untrained eye actually does have great purpose and meaning.

1 bar of soap (pink)
~Pink (of course!) and it smells good too. This bar of soap has the capability of not only making one smell clean and fresh but will soften your skin at the same time. This is a must in any lady’s daily care of herself.

2 bottles of shampoo (different kinds, of course)
2 bottles of conditioner (ditto)
~When our oldest daughter came up for a visit, she brought along with her a few of her favorite hair products and other items to leave here so that she was not carting these things back and forth. Very smart and very sensible don’t you think? Lillian understands the importance of taking care of her locks of hair, and that it not only must be clean, but shiny and healthy too. Yes…she has learned well!

1 bottle of shaving gel (not mine)
~Well, I certainly hope not! You wouldn’t expect a lady to use just anything to shave her legs with would you? No! Much care must be taken and considered when trying to make one’s legs soft and smooth.

1 jar of something called “apricot scrub”
~I love this product and have yet to find anything that I like better. This little jar is like a spa treatment without paying the spa prices. See honey…I’m saving you money already!

2 razors (neither is mine)
~Don’t tell Blaine, but his little girls are growing up and have already started to shave their legs.

1 fingernail brush (okay, I admit; it’s useful)
~This is yours buster. A lady would never find use for such a thing because she would never do any “dirty” work without using gloves.

1 big poofy scrubby thing
1 washcloth (they still make these? Why?)
~Both very necessary in keeping one’s skin smooth. The poofy scrubby thing is wonderful for using on most areas, but there are times when you need the softness of a washcloth.

1 large plastic cup (for the kids maybe . . . ?)
~Yes, we have used this for washing the children’s hair, but this is also very useful in rinsing out the tub while cleaning it.

1 bottle olive oil (in case I decide to stop bathing and have a salad, I guess)
~Ask me how it is my skin is so soft? After taking a shower and before drying off I will use the olive oil to soak into my skin leaving it soft to the touch.

1 big (but not big enough) shower caddy
~You mean they make bigger ones??!!